You're so right. I need to give my husband specific instructions. He asks me to tell him what needs doing when he sees I am really cross, but he doesn't get why I can't just communicate without grumpiness, which gets him in a negative place.

Sometimes what needs doing is so obvious to me.

We saw a therapist once, who recommended writing a list of tasks and then assigning responsibilities between us, and in fairness, I never got round to doing it.

Thanks for your answer.